Well, pretty much any day right. We really don’t need a holiday to HANDLE grief, but it certainly does seem to MAXIMIZE it’s presence during holiday times….
Holidays are supposed to be a time of HAPPINESS, LOVE, LAUGHTER and all of those FEEL GOOD words! When you lose a loved one, holidays become quite the opposite unless you do something about it.
Here’s are my 5 tips for handling GRIEF over the holidays:
- Give yourself TIME to Grieve – it’s not going to be easy, it’s not going to get easier, and it certainly won’t just go away. So allow it to be, and just take time. Be sure to address the GRIEF every day you think about it. I know it sounds silly, but welcome the grief, let it know you are aware of it and tell someone that it’s there. I like to look in the mirror and say “HELLO GRIEF, you are here, I see you, but I am ok! I am moving on with you here or not!”
- Ask for Help – don’t be afraid to ask for help. This is not something to “deal with” on your own. Have someone watch your kids, ask someone to help you wrap gifts, ask someone to help you prepare if you are hosting holidays at your house. Working together aides in feeling alone. It really does take an army to get through life, especially when GRIEF is mixed in.
- Talk about them! – who ever you lost, be sure to talk about them. Don’t keep them tucked away. Their soul is still with you and their memories can keep them alive. I talk more about my parents every single day. And memories from holidays actually make it easier to remember memories!
- Avoid taking any substances to ease the sadness – Taking the edge off with a few drinks is a short term aid, since alcohol is a depressant, it can actually trigger panic attacks and make it worse. Take some time to yourself with a nice bubble bath, or a mani and pedi. Or go outside and play with your kids.
- Stick to your routine and try to have it include some sort of exercise – Exercise is such a great way to relieve stress and anxiety. It’s such a natural way to take the edge off and you will feel better after no matter what!
I’m not saying I have all of the answers, I’m not saying I am a professional. But if you know me, and you know my story, you know that I have experience. Unfortunate experience and I can pay it forward and help someone else with a simple tip or two to better ENJOY the holidays, then I have done my job!
I hope you enjoy your holidays this year and every year. This day and every day!